I have two months left of my Masters. This is a genuinely terrifying thought. Questions start floating in your mind like, ‘Am I using this Masters to the best of my ability?’ ‘Am I pushing myself enough before its all over?’ Although these thoughts are good to keep myself on track the more important question is:
What in the name of god am I going to show for my final exhibition!?
I like to think painters have it easy. You know, all you have to do it paint and then ‘hang’, right? It sounds easy but I guess the grass is always greener. As an artist that tends towards sculptures and installations the idea of setting up a final show where I MUST present my best work is rather daunting. I somehow present better work when its a smaller show. With less pressure you tend to take more risks. This is something I have encountered at many final shows. 
Artists I have been really excited to see have somehow fallen into the ‘safe’ and rather disappointing category. Taking risks is terrifying, especially if it doesn’t pay off. I had a tutorial recently with the head of M.A Fine Art graphics. I talked to him about my fears of having a terrible show and how I was worried about taking risks. He looked at me and said
“So what happens if you have a bad show Emily?”
“Um, I’ll be really sad?”
“and…?”
“I guess thats it!”
I got his point. You have a bad show, but so what?
No to to get all Oprah on you but if your dream is to be an artist and that is what you have wanted your whole life then nothing really is going to stop you achieving that or at least trying to achieve that. The final show is not the be all and end all. Now I just have to somehow convince myself of this and everything should be fine!
Speaking of masters shows, I recently visited the Slade’s final exhibition. It was incredible. I really wanted to hate them because its Slade… but I couldn’t! Damn their professionalism! Most of my class had seen it and seemed to be quivering in their boots, I must admit I got a little scared when I saw how excellently curated the show was. The general consensus was that video art was dominant and painting seemed far distant dream! It was both interactive and contemplative. It was scary but actually quite inspirational. They did well but we shall do better. gulp. 
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